#3 yes worries

the antithesis of "no worries at all"

The above line from a book by describes me perfectly, I'm the self-proclaimed 'Queen of Not Minding'.

For the longest time, I've brushed things that bother me under the carpet by saying "Haha, no worries at all". This could be anything - last-minute cancellation of plans I was really looking forward to or problematic statements disguised as jokes.

But recently I've started speaking up and voicing when something bothers me and it's...liberating. For multiple reasons.

A. Being able to accept to myself that I don't have to pretend to be okay when I'm not

B. Not actually doing the emotional labour of pretending

My girlfriends and I have often had a discussion about how most women grow up to be people pleasers and, in the process, often neglect their feelings, needs, and wants. This often leaves one feeling resentful, or with a host of unresolved issues that crop up in the seemingly unrelated situations.

Being able to express disappointment productively requires unlearning what we've subconsciously accepted as the truth.

1. Speaking your truth and asking for what you need doesn’t make you a selfish person.

2. You are not creating a fuss or throwing tantrums for setting healthy boundaries. (petition to cancel the fussy daughter, tantrum-throwing girlfriend tropes commonly seen in pop culture)

And while these internal thoughts keep you from expressing your honest feelings, the truth is getting mad at someone feels extremely vulnerable because it shows that you care. And this can be deeply uncomfortable in today's day and age where you're supposed to be "cool" with everything.

So, take a pause to examine your interactions, are you the 'Queen of Not Minding' as well?

Ignore the nagging guilt when you stand up for yourself, take this as a reminder that being the 'Queen of Minding and Speaking Up' will not make you any less the 'Queen of Hearts' for all the people in your life.

It’s time to enter your villain era!